I am really trying to internalize the fact that yelling is violent. I do sometimes tend to yell when I am angry. Holding myself accountable for that. Nobody should be yelled at.
Thank you for spending time here and being honest in your humanness. ❤️ I grew up in a household that normalized yelling, it is a hard one to let go of. Sending you love on your growing journey!!
Jesse—I think this is every writers dream, this comment. You wish to sit with my words for an extended period? Let me just pick myself up off the floor! Thank you. Happiest of birthdays to you. 35 so far has been spectacular (outside of world events, of course) because it is just another year of shedding patriarchal bs! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thank you for this.
Happy birthday and thanks so much for sharing this. I'm 37 and am slowly working towards pretty much everything here, this has given me renewed motivation to keep working on myself relentlessly.
Thank you, Natalie! I'm grateful you spent your precious time with my words. ❤️
"Working on myself relentlessly" is exactly how I feel! I'm not trying to be the best, I just want to be better at being true to me and not my socialization. Thanks for sharing that. I didn't realize how much I needed to reread this list until I sat down with it, funny how sometimes just listening to ourselves is all we really need to do.
I really resonate with #21 Community "The patriarchy wants us to be isolated" - which is one of the reasons why the prospect of ageing, particularly (but not exclusively) ageing without children can be so scary. And plenty of the other ones too. Thank you, with your usual generosity, for sharing these with us! Hugs, Jody x
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I am so glad I get to witness your pushback against patriarchal thoughts on women's aging as well as your push to cultivate community. You are amazing! ❤️❤️
This is wonderful (and happy birthday). Powerful reminders for all of us, including those of us who have a few more years under our belt and a touch more (!) grey on our heads.
This has got to be the best line ever: "Imposter syndrome is a product of white supremacist capitalistic patriarchy and I will not allow my self worth to feel less than in a society that feeds succubus-like off our collective shame."
But I also loved this: "I will shed the mentality of my mother² to ensure my daughter doesn’t shrink herself to fit into the societally accepted version of herself" -- along with the footnote.
Thank you so very much! ❤️ I absolutely use these as reminders for myself. What type of human do I want to be? What energy do I want people to feel when I am near them or part from them? I find coming back to these pillars helps. Thank you for spending time with them. Mid-30s me can't help but giggle at mid-20s me who did all she could to cover her greys--now I feel so honored for them. Wish I could hug that girl sometimes, she needed it.
I feel so lucky to be able to have such conversations with my mom. I felt guilty for a brief moment when reposting this, as she hadn't yet subscribed last year when this originally posted. But hearing my mother say things like "I am trying to gain weight" has been so healing for younger me. The 90s were rough on us and skinny-culture, my goodness.
Happy Birthday! Thanks for bringing light to my year with your energy and words. I hope, along with loving yourself and engaging in your inspiring personal development, you’ll also have many blessed moments of luck and connection. In other words, that you’ll feel the earth, your animal and plant friends, and humanity show up for you as you do for them
Amy! My Heart! What a lovely thing to read, just, wow. Thank you for saying that. I absolutely plan to spend the year with my hands in the dirt and my heart occupying a space of peace and joy among loved ones and new friends. Thank you for the support, the encouragement, the positive energy, the conversations - all of it. I am grateful. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for spending time with them! Ooof, 29 is a toughie. Just the other night I was getting frustrated (more with myself) when my husband wasn't meeting my needs in a conversation--I finally realized that I hadn't expressed what my needs actually were, once I did he was able to meet me where I was at but woof it was rough getting there. It's funny how closely we keep those, I think socialization also has a lot to do with it, as women we're taught to meet others first--that suppression probably hasn't helped learning how to communicate in the long run. Sending you love as you navigate the inner self ❤️
Totally. There’s a vulnerability in expressing a need, I think, because doing so reveals both that we know that/what we need and that we feel worthy enough to ask for someone else’s time/mental emotional resources to ask. Both those things - the knowing and my belief in my own worthiness - go against our socialisation so it feels risky to expose them. Thank you!!! And to you ❤️
I am really trying to internalize the fact that yelling is violent. I do sometimes tend to yell when I am angry. Holding myself accountable for that. Nobody should be yelled at.
Thank you for spending time here and being honest in your humanness. ❤️ I grew up in a household that normalized yelling, it is a hard one to let go of. Sending you love on your growing journey!!
I’m turning 35 in a couple weeks. If you don’t mind, I’m going to borrow this list and re read it every day until then ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Jesse—I think this is every writers dream, this comment. You wish to sit with my words for an extended period? Let me just pick myself up off the floor! Thank you. Happiest of birthdays to you. 35 so far has been spectacular (outside of world events, of course) because it is just another year of shedding patriarchal bs! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thank you for this.
And happy birthday!!!
Happy birthday and thanks so much for sharing this. I'm 37 and am slowly working towards pretty much everything here, this has given me renewed motivation to keep working on myself relentlessly.
Thank you 😊
Thank you, Natalie! I'm grateful you spent your precious time with my words. ❤️
"Working on myself relentlessly" is exactly how I feel! I'm not trying to be the best, I just want to be better at being true to me and not my socialization. Thanks for sharing that. I didn't realize how much I needed to reread this list until I sat down with it, funny how sometimes just listening to ourselves is all we really need to do.
Happy Birthday Kate!
I really resonate with #21 Community "The patriarchy wants us to be isolated" - which is one of the reasons why the prospect of ageing, particularly (but not exclusively) ageing without children can be so scary. And plenty of the other ones too. Thank you, with your usual generosity, for sharing these with us! Hugs, Jody x
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I am so glad I get to witness your pushback against patriarchal thoughts on women's aging as well as your push to cultivate community. You are amazing! ❤️❤️
This is wonderful (and happy birthday). Powerful reminders for all of us, including those of us who have a few more years under our belt and a touch more (!) grey on our heads.
This has got to be the best line ever: "Imposter syndrome is a product of white supremacist capitalistic patriarchy and I will not allow my self worth to feel less than in a society that feeds succubus-like off our collective shame."
But I also loved this: "I will shed the mentality of my mother² to ensure my daughter doesn’t shrink herself to fit into the societally accepted version of herself" -- along with the footnote.
Thank you so very much! ❤️ I absolutely use these as reminders for myself. What type of human do I want to be? What energy do I want people to feel when I am near them or part from them? I find coming back to these pillars helps. Thank you for spending time with them. Mid-30s me can't help but giggle at mid-20s me who did all she could to cover her greys--now I feel so honored for them. Wish I could hug that girl sometimes, she needed it.
I feel so lucky to be able to have such conversations with my mom. I felt guilty for a brief moment when reposting this, as she hadn't yet subscribed last year when this originally posted. But hearing my mother say things like "I am trying to gain weight" has been so healing for younger me. The 90s were rough on us and skinny-culture, my goodness.
Thanks for spending time with my words, Leah! ❤️
Happy Birthday! Thanks for bringing light to my year with your energy and words. I hope, along with loving yourself and engaging in your inspiring personal development, you’ll also have many blessed moments of luck and connection. In other words, that you’ll feel the earth, your animal and plant friends, and humanity show up for you as you do for them
Amy! My Heart! What a lovely thing to read, just, wow. Thank you for saying that. I absolutely plan to spend the year with my hands in the dirt and my heart occupying a space of peace and joy among loved ones and new friends. Thank you for the support, the encouragement, the positive energy, the conversations - all of it. I am grateful. ❤️❤️❤️
Happy birthday! Everyone of these is priceless.
Thank you, John!! I'm so grateful for the time spent with them. ❤️❤️
Happy Birthday! Those are wonderful resolutions that address living in patriarchy well.
Thank you!! And thank you for spending your time with them, I am grateful. ❤️❤️
These are all wonderful! #29 really resonates with what I’m trying to work on at the moment.
Thank you for spending time with them! Ooof, 29 is a toughie. Just the other night I was getting frustrated (more with myself) when my husband wasn't meeting my needs in a conversation--I finally realized that I hadn't expressed what my needs actually were, once I did he was able to meet me where I was at but woof it was rough getting there. It's funny how closely we keep those, I think socialization also has a lot to do with it, as women we're taught to meet others first--that suppression probably hasn't helped learning how to communicate in the long run. Sending you love as you navigate the inner self ❤️
Totally. There’s a vulnerability in expressing a need, I think, because doing so reveals both that we know that/what we need and that we feel worthy enough to ask for someone else’s time/mental emotional resources to ask. Both those things - the knowing and my belief in my own worthiness - go against our socialisation so it feels risky to expose them. Thank you!!! And to you ❤️
Such a great list!
Thank you so much for spending time with it! 💜💜