I like to think of Patriarchy affecting women as internalized misogyny.
I like to think of Patriarchy affecting men as internalized misandry.
Why? Because when sexist men teach women to be sexist, they hate themselves, they tear each other down and so on.
But when sexist men teach men to hate themselves, they hate women, yes, but they also hate themselves. Men also learn to tear each down and such. Just in different ways.
Women with internalized misogyny slut shame each other so that men see the other women as “having less value” than them. Men with internalized misandry may not slut shame each other to de-value other men but they do compete for things like how many women they’ve had sex with, saying things like, “oh he’s not good in bed, he’s a virgin loser that lives with his mom”, etc.
If women slut shame other women, men virgin shame other men.
Oh I find this such an interesting line of thought, thank you so much for sharing. I generally don't believe in the idea of misandry, because much like reverse-racism, even if a woman hates men, men still hold the power within society at a systemic level. But the idea that misandry is actually internalized patriarchy within men is fascinating and I'm definitely going to reflect on it. You are too right when you say that their moment of soul murder (as bell hooks would call it) is an act of self-hatred, but I've never thought of it in terms of misandry. (Thanks for the rabbit hole my brain will now go down! 🤣❤️)
Still ruminating on this but I recently read a piece that said something along the lines of patriarchy couldn’t exist if self love was encouraged. Feels applicable here.
Thank you so much for the words. Always interesting and new to read from you and see what you have to say about the topic. I hate it when people say Feminism is about women hating men. No. It’s about men and women coming together to help each other and lift each other up. I know there may be a few extremists out there that say stuff like I hate all men and all men should die, but not all of are like that.
Thank you so much for this conversation where ive learned so much. My own partner has struggled for similar reasons with the 'man hating' as he calls it but I know he would agree with so much of what your saying here. We need a collective response to bring about growth and healing for all.
Thank you so much for spending time with my words! I appreciate it very much. I agree with the idea of a collective response! So important we continue highlighting the harmful impact of patriarchal structures on all because it truly is all of us v. The Patriarchy. We’re all in this together. 💜
So glad you are writing about this topic. Mother of teenage sons here and I noticed the harm when my now 16 year-old mentioned Andrew Tate (prior to the sex trafficking charges). Also, loving your voice and being able to listen! I would do that, but my publication is so image heavy. Great work!
Parenting in the digital age is wild. I'm so glad to see the rise in positive and healthy masculinity creators, it's so important! I can't imagine the internal feelings having to navigate those conversations, sending so much positive energy your way! Thank you so much, I appreciate the support and uplifting comments so much. <3
I like to think of Patriarchy affecting women as internalized misogyny.
I like to think of Patriarchy affecting men as internalized misandry.
Why? Because when sexist men teach women to be sexist, they hate themselves, they tear each other down and so on.
But when sexist men teach men to hate themselves, they hate women, yes, but they also hate themselves. Men also learn to tear each down and such. Just in different ways.
Women with internalized misogyny slut shame each other so that men see the other women as “having less value” than them. Men with internalized misandry may not slut shame each other to de-value other men but they do compete for things like how many women they’ve had sex with, saying things like, “oh he’s not good in bed, he’s a virgin loser that lives with his mom”, etc.
If women slut shame other women, men virgin shame other men.
Oh I find this such an interesting line of thought, thank you so much for sharing. I generally don't believe in the idea of misandry, because much like reverse-racism, even if a woman hates men, men still hold the power within society at a systemic level. But the idea that misandry is actually internalized patriarchy within men is fascinating and I'm definitely going to reflect on it. You are too right when you say that their moment of soul murder (as bell hooks would call it) is an act of self-hatred, but I've never thought of it in terms of misandry. (Thanks for the rabbit hole my brain will now go down! 🤣❤️)
Still ruminating on this but I recently read a piece that said something along the lines of patriarchy couldn’t exist if self love was encouraged. Feels applicable here.
Thank you so much for the words. Always interesting and new to read from you and see what you have to say about the topic. I hate it when people say Feminism is about women hating men. No. It’s about men and women coming together to help each other and lift each other up. I know there may be a few extremists out there that say stuff like I hate all men and all men should die, but not all of are like that.
Thank you so much for this conversation where ive learned so much. My own partner has struggled for similar reasons with the 'man hating' as he calls it but I know he would agree with so much of what your saying here. We need a collective response to bring about growth and healing for all.
Thank you so much for spending time with my words! I appreciate it very much. I agree with the idea of a collective response! So important we continue highlighting the harmful impact of patriarchal structures on all because it truly is all of us v. The Patriarchy. We’re all in this together. 💜
This was a great listen, amazing work from a beautiful mind and souk. Keep up the amazing work!!
So much love to you! Thank you for the kind words and taking time to spend with my words, so, so grateful!!!!!!
So glad you are writing about this topic. Mother of teenage sons here and I noticed the harm when my now 16 year-old mentioned Andrew Tate (prior to the sex trafficking charges). Also, loving your voice and being able to listen! I would do that, but my publication is so image heavy. Great work!
Parenting in the digital age is wild. I'm so glad to see the rise in positive and healthy masculinity creators, it's so important! I can't imagine the internal feelings having to navigate those conversations, sending so much positive energy your way! Thank you so much, I appreciate the support and uplifting comments so much. <3